Messenger Puppet

Joe Arpaio is up for election in 2012, if senility has not been formally diagnosed by then.  He is shamelessly shilling for donations already. Why?  Because he is running ads already – TWO FUCKING YEARS before even a primary challenge.  Why?

It’s not his popularity.  Joe latched onto hating brown people, and it bought him his 5th term.  It’s all the rage now.  SB1070. You may have heard of it.

So why then?  Two words:  Rick Romley.

Here’s the Ad

Rick Romley is also GOP, but he is an enemy of Joe.  He’s not part of the Honduran villa/Alaskan fishing trip crowd.  He’s not part of the harass brown people so they don’t vote crowd, either.  Romley has a functioning set of  brains and balls.  He constantly stands up to Joe and the old man’s bullshit.  The problem with the Joe Arpaio for sheriff attack ads is that Rick Romley is not running for sheriff.  He is running for County Attorney.  In Romley’s world, CA is a prosecutor who is expected to work for justice, and is only a politician by necessity.  Romley’s predecessor was a politician whose acts as CA were designed for headlines, not justice or truth.  Romley is not running against the quitter either.

This is what you get in AZ.  Not a PAC to elect party candidates.  You get Joe, spending the dollars you donate to keep him in office to cannibalize his own party’s chances in some sort of pissing contest with someone who dares to disagree.

Green, like a shiny suit

This is the best of both worlds, staring me right in the face.  It is a shitbox Mercury Monarch, born not from jets, but from the decomposed, assraped carcass of the 1960 Ford Falcon.  No one will mistake it for a Mercedes, trust me.

Granada (Monarch) vs. Mercedes

Dad: I approve of this car so long as no one drops a golf ball on it from space!

Part two of the mistake?  Green.

Green?  Really?  This is not an Aston.  It is a fashion choice.  Like when Dad married the harpy.

Dad:  Look at my shiny green suit!  I call it “pistachio,” for obvious reasons! **  White Belt and White Loafers make it pimpin’ like Huggy Bear!

Green suits are like meth – not even once.

**Dad:  Also, because my balls will be that small once she is through with me!

Die, bastards, die

The gravy train stops (for now)

why did I buy a toaster car?

It’s the most you can suck for under a buck – actual Circle K radio spot the last two days

Now if you are prepared to spend an actual buck (or seven if there’s a crackwhore named Apple involved), you need to go to the alley BEHIND the Kalamazoo Center Circle K.

What else do you need? [more actual Circle K ad copy]

We have Oberon

you from around here?