(from JU)

President’s Golf Record Under Fire

Controversy hit the Bush campaign today amid reports that the President threw away several trophies he won while playing golf during the Vietnam War. For years, the President has deflected questions about his lack of military service during the war by stressing that he used that time to develop the golf skills necessary to serve as Commander in Chief.

But the latest bombshell is bound to renew scrutiny of Mr. Bush’s golf record, as eyewitnesses at the Kennebunk Golf Club said that Mr. Bush threw away several of his golf trophies during a protest at the club in 1971.

According to the eyewitnesses, Mr. Bush hurled the trophies over the country club’s fence to protest a decision to move up the club bar’s closing time from eleven o’clock to ten.

When asked about the incident today, Mr. Bush acknowledged that he threw away the golf trophies but said he later climbed over the fence to retrieve them after his dad yelled at him.

But Mr. Bush’s comments only fanned the flames of controversy, as his former golf partner Charles “Whiffy” Wiffington said that the trophies could not possibly have belonged to Mr. Bush since the President never won more than an honorable-mention ribbon while playing at the club.

“I think he got a ribbon for ‘most improved,’ but that was about the extent of it,” Mr. Wiffington said.

In other news, Secretary of State Colin Powell said today that he saw the plans for the invasion of Iraq “at the same time as everyone else – when I read Bob Woodward’s book.”

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