Subject: Another Blonde Event
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind.
But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and I had yet to pay for them.
Boy oh boy, did we go around! Just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell
him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year…….that in one year the windows would pay for themselves.
There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven’t heard back. Guess I won that stupid argument
FISHING VS SEX
#20 – No matter how much whiskey you’ve had, you can still Fish.
#19 – A limp rod is still useful while Fishing.
#18 – You don’t have to hide your Fishing magazines.
#17 – It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish with you once in a while.
#16 – The Ten Commandments don’t say anything against Fishing.
#15 – If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you Fishing, you don’t have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous.
#14 – Your Fishing partner doesn’t get upset about people you Fished with long ago.
#13 – It’s perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.
#12 – When you see a really good Fishing person, you don’t have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you Fishing together.
#11 – If your regular Fishing partner isn’t available, he/she won’t object if you Fish with someone else.
#10 – Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you Fish by yourself.
#9 – When dealing with a Fishing pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.
#8 – You don’t have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy Fishing stuff.
#7 – You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell Fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to Fish with you without getting sued for Fishing harassment.
#6 – There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases.
#5 – If you want to watch Fishing on television, you don’t have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.
#4 – Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.
#3 – Nobody expects you to give up Fishing if your partner loses interest in it.
#2 – You don’t have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.
#1 – Your Fishing partner will never say, “Not again? We just Fished last week! Is Fishing all you ever think about?”
A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.
“What’s the matter?” he asks.
“I have a case of anal glaucoma,” she says in a weak voice.
“What the hell is anal glaucoma?”
“I can’t see my ass coming in to work today.”