Life’s little Ironies

I have worn glasses since I was two. Really awful glasses.  Coke bottle thick ones. {At least I never wore circular glasses to complete the effect, like Buzzkill did.}  In 1989, I lounged on Daytona Beach with 8Barrel and Easy E, and planted my glasses in the sand and lit smokes with them. As a kid, I tried to set ants on fire with them  but had them pointed the wrong way.

Beginning with the end of high school, I pestered my ophthalmologist (whose actual name was Dr. Beers) about getting contacts and he said no.  I blamed my glasses for my utter lack of scoring.  I was even so convinced that my glasses were holding me back that I launched a drunken rant about how people treat me different because of the glasses at E.

I was somewhat full of shit at the time. That never stopped me before.  Or since.

Anyway, a couple of years ago, technology caught up with crappy ass eyesight, and I got contacts.  Cool Beans.  Then age caught up with my ass, and I found myself squinting.  My new OD, Dr. Spicolli said, “Dude, I’m so wasted.”  Or maybe he said, “you’re old!”  Anyway, now I need readers to read contracts and the other crap I ignore to write in this blog.  The more things change….

4 thoughts on “Life’s little Ironies

  1. Yeah, sucks to be blind like an old person when you are young.
    Contact lenses do the job instead of the old Coke-bottle-bottom lenses, then the insult that keeps giving–age–checks in and leaves behind a little gift–a new kind of impaired eyesight. Yay! for having to wear contacts with bi-focals!

  2. I was told last year that my next lens Rx needs to be bifocal. So far I have been able to spite the industry by using the old script and squinting a lot. By the way you’re nearly forty -one and should, by rights have to make this concession before me.

  3. I have progressive lenses now in my latest “I am too fricken old/cranky/hungover/Reaganed to handle contacts this morning” glasses.
    Squinting sucks. It took me 6 months to get through the 1st book in the Lord of the Rings trilogy because it was such a pain to read with my glasses.

    By the way you’re nearly forty -one

    A. Bite me, “youngster.” so are you.
    B. In metric years, I am only 22.

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