Star Wars 3 promises to “bring teh suk.” Tedious, droning, monotonous scifi pap, thy new name is “Revenge of the Sith” as of 7/24/04.On a scale of 1-10, the original is an 11. Icon status. Impossible to improve upon. Saw it with 8barrel at the Beacon theater. The best part is that is was a blockbuster without pre-positioning itself to be. I saw it because it achieved event like status at school, not because the marketing department ordained it as a *don’t miss* flick.
Empire – 6 of 10. This is supposedly the best one, but I found it stupid. (“Dude. I’m all like your Dad. And shit…Give us a hug. you complete me”) This is where the new characters and critters became gratuitous. Maybe part of this contempt comes from working for the BK Lounge, which relentlessly merchandised SW crap. (“A new glass every week.”) I only saw this one once. I WOULD give it another chance.
Jedi 1/2 sucked, so 5 stars of 10, and not just because Tammy (an ex) joined me, 8 barrel and Robin to see it. AWKWARD. The whole Ewok element was gay and the plot was mostly a rehash of the first one. Blow up Death Star II (electric boogaloo). AGAIN. Wow. Oh, and that girl I was hoping Luke would shag is his sister? WTF? (Also: ewww.)
Then George Lucas REALLY let me down. When the first one came out in 1977, there were supposed to be a total of 9- three trilogies (middle, sequel and prequel) separated by multiple generations, with a new movie every three years. Uh, no. Not hardly.
Then we get Phantom and Clones. Dull plodding crapfests that exist just to give redeemed “bad guy” Darth Vader a shiny happy backstory. I hope that fucker (Vader) is evil, mean and wicked in Sith. But, I will likely wait until about 2007 to find out once it comes to HBO, because I am not going to drop a dime on pedantic, merchandise infomercial/special effects-driven cartoon plots.
totally kicks the ass of