Messenger Puppet

Blow, Snow Dominate New Stump Speech

Courtesy of Elder Bear

Saying that a second Bush administration would subject the nation to

“four more years of blow and snow,” Mr. Kerry unleashed his most savage

attack on the president to date, accusing Mr. Bush of spending the

federal surplus on a $40,000-a-day cocaine habit.

“Where did the

surplus go? I’ll tell you!” thundered Mr. Kerry, who then mimed

inhaling a line of cocaine to the delight of the partisan crowd.

Mr.

Kerry’s decision to accuse Mr. Bush of “snorting foo-foo dust” and

“tooting racehorse charlie” seemed to be inspired by the new

unauthorized book about the Bush family penned by celebrity biographer

Kitty Kelley, who coincidentally was named to the Axis of Evil today.

But

just minutes after Mr. Kerry accused Mr. Bush of “hitching up the

reindeers,” Vice President Dick Cheney returned fire, telling an

audience in West Virginia that if Mr. Kerry is elected, the Earth will spin off its axis and collide with the sun.
After

know exactly where the real ones are hidden.”