Dear BushRecall.org Supporter,
President Bush’s handlers have ferociously negotiated every last detail of formats for the presidential debates. Their extreme attention to detail isn’t a product of Bush’s subpar debate skills. On the contrary, he’s quite good – especially when the format doesn’t allow for suitable follow-up from an opponent or moderator to refute all his super-spun answers. By now, we all know that President Bush can do nothing if not stick to a script with the best of them.
But President Bush’s script hasn’t included real answers to real problems facing real Americans – and it’s time to demand them from him. With that in mind here’s a handy primer to use for scoring the debates while watching from home. It’s an easy game to play, but the total score might make soccer look like a high scoring affair. Here’s how it works: When President Bush does any of the following, add one point.
– Acknowledges the true extent of the mess in Iraq.
– Acknowledges that the “Mission Accomplished” banner and “Bring ‘em on” comment were big mistakes.
– Presents a plan to fix the mess in Iraq.
– Explains how his current troop rotation program is sustainable, despite GAO estimates.
– Presents a plan for dealing with North Korea.
– Explains how Halliburton rose from the 22nd-largest military contractor in 2000 to seventh in 2003.
– Explains why we haven’t found the source of the Valerie Plame leak.
– Explains why we haven’t found Osama bin Laden.
– Mentions Osama bin Laden.
– Offers a full explanation for the WMD argument.
– Offers a full apology for the WMD argument (this is worth double).
– Offers a full apology for Abu Ghraib.
– Unveils a plan for rebuilding America’s stature and respect throughout the world.
Sounds easy enough, doesn’t it? Well, here’s a second list: Whenever President Bush does any of these things, subtract one point:
– Uses the phrase “stay the course.”
– Bad-mouths our traditional allies (bonus points if he specifically mentions France).
– Calls John Kerry a flip-flopper.
– [Calls Kerry "my opponent" rather than by name and title]
– Calls his opponents weak.
– Mentions “the lessons of September the 11th”
– Talks of supporting the troops without mentioning shortages of armored Humvees, clean water and body armor [or reduced combat pay].
– Uses the phrase “Coalition of the Willing.”
– Utters any of the following: thugs, assassins, madman.
That’s it, now you have a ready-made guide to the debate proceedings for tomorrow night. As you can see, you’ll probably end up in red numbers – just like the Bush budget.
Above all else, remember this:
George W. Bush is the incumbent, so it’s up to him to answer all of the public’s questions about his failed policies. He hasn’t so far – here’s guessing he won’t tomorrow night, either.
We’ll be back to you on Friday with our post-debate analysis.
If need be, add drinking to the mix instead of points. Doing so may lead to something stupid that gets recited on a blog somewhere.