Messenger Puppet

Tom Ridge, Minister of Paranoia Secretary of Homeland Defense will resign. Another Orwellian nightmare domino has fallen. C’mon Rummy, sack up and join the retireess

As nice as it was to bump Tom Ridge’s ass out of the governor’s mansion in Pennsylvania, the oompa loompa terror warning level was a bad joke. The premise was flawed from the beginning – there will NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER be blue or green.

Think about it. Would you ever publicize to your opponent what your plan is? Would you ever, except in the face of peace or treaty tell your opponent that you are less vigilant?

Blue and green “warning levels” are like a big “kick me” sign or a double dog dare. I have no problem with waking up from our sometimes irrational national paranoia, but it’s not something to broadcast.

Back to the point, c ya Tom. don’t let the door hit ya…

Is apparently where I am not. At least not far enough left. I tried to attach myself, remora-like, to the “Progressive Blog Alliance,” which (“PBA“) is our super secret code for I’m a Lefty and Proud of It.

Anyway, the all powerful gatekeeper of all lefty blogs, an ethereal being known as “Nick Lewis” has tattooed the following on my forehead so I wouldn’t miss it:

Listen Rush Windbag, we’re not fooled by your lame ass attempts to become one of the cool intelligent, thinking people in this country instead of a whore for the administration. Go sackride Michael Savage some more. Or Dick “Dick” Cheney. The gratuitous use of “whore” and “Dick” were unmistakeable clues to your true motivations, you GOP scumlatoid.

“No soup for you” – Nick Lewis

OK, what he really said, to no one in particular was:

Okay, I just made a round. If you didn’t get added, there are 4 possible reasons:

1. You did not post updates frequently enough
2. Your blog was more oriented towards your personal life, or pop culture than progressive ideas.
3. You have a banner indicating that you supported G.W. Bush (who is considered to be satan himself in this alliance).
4. I accidently missed you.

Perhaps “Nick Lewis” missed this, that and the other thing. Besides, what is more progressive and idealistic than a world where stupid things that people would rather forget and that I was wholly uninvolved in are memorialized forever under the picture of a sock with DTs? Plus political utopia would suck without beer, football, hotties and beer.

So, f***, f***, f***ity*f***-f***.

Progressive Sock Alliance starts here. If you are progressive (i.e., more __ now than before) and wear socks, mount up, because we ride at dawn. And shit.

</hissy fit>

Live Aid, the 1985 concert in Philly and London to raise money for Ethiopia famine relief is finally available on DVD. Buy it. Now. Proceeds go to charity.

What you will see:

1. Phil Collins is a loon, perfoming early in London, hopping a Concorde, then performing late in Philly.
2. Mick Jagger dry humping Tina Turner
3. Duran Duran is the world’s shittiest live band (apart from MDF) This video cuts the craptastic View to a Kill that earned them that reputation.
4. U2 were gods when they sang about real things, and could count from 1 to 14 in Spanish without skipping 4-13.(The intro on Vertigo is “uno dos tres catorce” which roughly equates to ” I shoulda paid attention in 1st grade, fourteen”)

I remember the day. I worked third shift at Hell Mart, came home and watched a little Boomtown, and a little mulleted Bono. What a refreshing change from coming home and watching Jim Bakker selling timeshares in his theme park for God,  which was the usual dreck I went to sleep to since we didn’t have cable. I missed most of the concert due to sleep and caught the end. Stunned was I with the parts I was able to see.

I have been looking for a copy of this thing for 20 years. MTV replayed it a couple of times in the 80s and if you had a brain and were not preoccupied with grabass before the TSA made it fashionable, you may have taped it and made me extremely jealous. Anyway, now I can see the stuff I slept through. Woo Hoo!

No, not politics.  Important shiite – FOOTBALL

Broncos 24

5th Level of Hell (bastard Raiders) 25

@$#%^@$@#%^ blocked field goals.

All of it is on my iTunes blasting away right now (in this order)

Thanks Missouri.  Nobody thought that Colorado would go anywhere after the off season FUBAR.  Heads may still roll in

Boulder, but let’s play ball in the meantime and see how much we can f*** up the BCS with a win over Okie.

University of Colorado, Official Athletic Site – Home

We did our part. Beat Nebraska. Ended their winning streak that, except for 2002 (7-7), was in place since 1962. Ended their continuous bowl streak that stood since 1969. Ended their 34 season streak of 9-win seasons (ignoring 2002). We domionated them for 3 quearters, then held on for dear life. The usual story of a rare Buff victory over the Children of the Corn.

Now it’s your turn, Tigers.

Beat Iowa State tomorow and CU goes to the Big 12 Championship.

Wouldn’t it be odd if we beat OU and got an automatic BCS bid at 8-4? Wouldn’t that drive the monied interests behind the BCS facade nuts? I will be with you in spirit only, Tigers, because abc thinks I am somehow interested in the utterly irrelevant Virginia/Virginia Tech ACC game.

Dumbf***s.

They’re called Rocky Mountains for a reason.

CNN.com – Rock slide closes I-70 in Colorado – Nov 25, 2004

Between 30 and 40 large rocks tumbled onto the road, including boulders up to 8 feet by 10 feet, according to a department statement.

An engineer at the scene said one boulder was the size of a van.

* * *

The slide caused major damage to both sides of the interstate, including two eastbound bridge decks that had holes punched into them, authorities said.

“It is estimated that about a half-dozen boulders are embedded between 6 and 8 feet into the roadway,” Shanks said.

Passengers complain about pat-down searches at airports

If you’re a hottie according to the TSA, which uses secret criteria like big boobs, they’re gonna feel you up in the name of “security.”

“She put that thing in between my legs like you wouldn’t believe,” Higley said. “It was very offensive.”  Higley, who was not wearing any metal, said the wand beeped as it passed over the small of her back.  “She grabbed my rear end in an offensive way,” she said. “I spun around and said, `Don’t touch me again.’ I was really starting to get offended.” Just the same, Higley said, the screener “reached over and cupped my right breast. At this point, I’m starting to shake, I’m starting to cry. I said, `If you touch me again, I’m going to hit you.’”

If you try to be too comfortable jammed into your puny sardine seat or bitch because they’re picking on innocent people (i.e., you and your non-terrorist traveling party), they’re gonna do it too.

Passengers who wear loose clothing are more apt to receive a pat down, as are travelers who set off metal detector alarms or exhibit suspicious behavior, such as protesting when asked to take off their shoes.

Happy Trails. That’s the Constitution in the rear-view mirror.