Messenger Puppet

Bloody, sweaty

rock and rollers (nevermind the “he’s Jewish” irony) are way better

than the other thing that says Xmas, the Best Buy bill for that new

video/surround sound/ps2 and a grand worth of other merde that you foolishly bought so that your kids would be equivalent in the $/toys race..

(nevermind the “he’s Jewish doing the Christmas thing” irony)

Now playing: William Shatner – Has Been

(so is Shatner, BTW, not that there’s anything wrong with that)

4 of 48 people found the following review helpful:

I have conquered your world! Obey my superior technology! , November 22, 2004

This is The Great and Powerful Oz’s pick for Christmas 2004!

Listen up my chattel! I am Lieutenant Dorkus Malorkus! And Oz commands that you worship its features!

“Click! Click!” Beware! For as the shutter snaps cruelly, so do the Hounds of Hades nip at my heels!

This

so-called ‘camera’ is in fact a ’soul catcher’, which refuses to back

down! It must not be taken lightly! Nor must any attempt be made, to

tinker with its inner complexities, lest thou void the warranty!

Alas!

My seventeen layers of aluminum foil hat, are no match for its

omniscient recticle of doom, which can peer right into the depths of my

very being!

For as I take pictures of flowers and puppies,

there on its screen is instead displayed, the focal point of my black

heart! And it is so very dark! Darker than a night of a thousand

murders! Darker than gargoyles plunging daggers into the eyes of the

innocent! Darker than the endless screams of those in Satan’s clutches!

No wait, I simply forgot to take the lens cap off.

Nevermind.

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