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I have conquered your world! Obey my superior technology! , November 22, 2004
Reviewer: A Sentient Primate a.k.a. “Doug” (In The Belly Of The Beast) – See all my reviews
This is The Great and Powerful Oz’s pick for Christmas 2004!
Listen up my chattel! I am Lieutenant Dorkus Malorkus! And Oz commands that you worship its features!
“Click! Click!” Beware! For as the shutter snaps cruelly, so do the Hounds of Hades nip at my heels!
This so-called ‘camera’ is in fact a ‘soul catcher’, which refuses to back down! It must not be taken lightly! Nor must any attempt be made, to tinker with its inner complexities, lest thou void the warranty!
My seventeen layers of aluminum foil hat, are no match for its omniscient recticle of doom, which can peer right into the depths of my very being!
For as I take pictures of flowers and puppies, there on its screen is instead displayed, the focal point of my black heart! And it is so very dark! Darker than a night of a thousand murders! Darker than gargoyles plunging daggers into the eyes of the innocent! Darker than the endless screams of those in Satan’s clutches!
No wait, I simply forgot to take the lens cap off.
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