Outgoing Secretary of Abu Ghraib and Rainbow Stickers, Tom “cattle prod” Ridge today said that we should torture evil bastards like terrorists or bloggers who look like socks. However, such extreme measures should only be implemented to thwart a nuclear attack or when anyone with operational responsibility is really pissed off over a cold cheeseburger. “I don’t think it is ‘if’. I think it’s a matter of ‘when’. We operate that way,” he said. Actual Story here