So its the 20th anniversary of MDF give or take a couple of very hazy years, and about the 23rd anniversary of their evil progenitors. I celebrated last night with Miller High Life and Marlboro Lights. (Yes, Merit Ultra Lights (SPP) or Player Menthols (MDF) would have been more authentic. STFU) One of each was all I could stand. Man, did people have shitty ass tastes in the 80s.
(It was theme surfing night or something and I was frickin’ bored, OK?)
Somehow, original, fake and shitty all coalesced into asking myself what would a sane person might call these crappy ass, fake, “disbanded before public humiliation” “bands” if they were dreamt up in some smoky basement today? After numerous attempts (Blunderbuss, The Hand Jobs, Fuckstain, Evil Pussycat, Lenny, Sloth, Spay Aiken and the Gerbil Experience) all I could settle on, all that truly captured the utter lack of substance these “bands” represent was “And Shit.” Edgy, vulgar, semi-incoherent and meaningless, plus certain to get redacted in tight-ass venues. Invaluable MP exposure.
Imagine the cool intros: You wanted the best, you got the best, the hottest band in the world, And Shit. Imagine the fun. [Audience: OK, so who is it, and shit?] Imagine the zany and all too likely outros:
- “You guys fucking suck. And Shit.
- GTFOOH and Shit.
- I’m calling the cops, And Shit.”
OK, so it was a slow news day….
Oh, and all these band names (Blunderbuss, The Hand Jobs, Fuckstain, Evil Pussycat, Lenny, Sloth, Spay Aiken and the Gerbil Experience, And Shit) are copyrighted by me, but I will license to any actual band inexchange for free CDs and VIP tickets and some blogwhoring on yourliner notes. For life. And shit.