Messenger Puppet

J-P tosses case against famed Wienermobile

MOCCASIN, Ariz. A legal decision the driver of the Wienermobile can relish.

A

justice of the peace in the northwest Arizona community of Moccasin has

dismissed a case against the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile driver.Yesterday,

Judge Mitchell Lalauli ruled the famous “wiener on wheels” was not

necessarily engaged in commercial activity when rolling through

northern Arizona last September.Therefore, the judge delivered a

not guilty verdict against the driver who was charged with failure to

have a commercial vehicle registration in Arizona.

The Location: Northbound, less than a mile south of the Intersection of Doom

The Players: A Sock in one of these. A penis compensating s***head in one of these. Really, it was just one of those bloated full size Toyotas, but it’s just the difference between taking Viagara and telling your friends you need to.

Me: Redlight. Stop from 30 mph. In the crosswalk. Mirror. Oh, SSSHHHIIITTT!!!

He: Redlight. WTF?! That idiot is stopping for a redlight?

@#^%@$%^@%%$^@%$ 60 mph –> 40—> swerve

–> swerve back–> run light–> curse at delay caused by stupid law abider–> Floor it.

Me: Not this. Please, not this.

Anyway, nobody died, but jeebus, I should be able to occasionally stop when the light turns yellow (or red) without threat of 6,000 lbs of asshole chariot landing in my backseat. F***head.