God says “kill yer f***ing cat or I will smite your ass”

Are cats for true Christians? [Ed. Link removed due to attack site.]

According to this ^^ Jehovah’s “Witness,” you can safely (per the Bible) go kill your cat (which is basically a furry snake (see below)), but they’re not responsible if you do.

Indeed, modern studies of classification of cats, while not necessarily being reliable as they may be based on the discredited ‘theory’ of evolution, strongly associate felines with serpents (despite some external differences in physiology and morphology, which confuse those who do not study these matters deeply).

The demeanor of a cat is seen by many honest-hearted observers as reflecting some supernatural, unnatural proclivity towards malice or evil. And, it is a well-known fact that cats are impossible to tame, teach or raise in the truth. The cat has a rebellious, independent spirit. While the animal itself may be unaware of this tragic condition, it serves only its true master – Satan, the Devil.

These weirdos can go defelinate the planet for all I care, but this bit is creepy:

As loyal followers of Jehovah’s thinking on this matter, we can rejoice in the fact that in the new system, the incoming theocracy and World Order…


That and the whole “my angry, spiteful God says ‘beat the shit out of non-believers'” business, which is not the ‘Jebus loves everybody’ God that I was sold.

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