God to Falwell: F*** Off and Die Already…

Jerry Falwell back in hospital – Mar 29, 2005

Heaven (AP) – God announced today his 3 part plan to smite false prophet, idolator and political toady Jerry “jellyroll” Falwell.
Step one is pneumonia, so that Falwell gets a taste of a typical AIDS death. “”AIDS doesn’t just strike *fags* you ignorant hick,” God bellowed.

Parts two and three may involve a Mr. Creosote¬† scenario (“have a mint, Jerry, you bloody glutton”) and a persistent vegetative state (“with a non-functional brain, he might stop distorting my books”). “Or I may just have him tossed in prison for a little street justice. I really haven’t decided” said God, while fidgeting with a number of lightning bolts.

2 thoughts on “God to Falwell: F*** Off and Die Already…

  1. I think that even though he probably believes catholicism is a path to Hell, he’s just got a Pope complex.
    Falwell, that is.

  2. Pope? I always thought Falwell leaned more to the wizard side of things. You can maybe understand his confusion…

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