Dude, where’s your cojones?

“Eww. I was forced to voluntarily shag my hot boss, and then I embarassed her and can’t understand why this has damaged my future in the industry.”

Gary Robinson, former LPGA caddy, now posterboy for Eunuch Morons of America…

Dear Gary “As Manly As Clay Aiken” Robinson:

Suing because you chose to take a piece of ripe ass on the tour? WTF? And then you narced on the golfer and don’t understand why your career as a caddie is over. Turn in your man card.

Caddie claims LPGA player seduced him

MIAMI (AP) — A former caddie for LPGA golfer Jackie Gallagher-Smith is suing her, saying she seduced him in order to get pregnant. Gary Robinson says Gallagher-Smith, who is married, used him as “an unwitting sperm donor.” He is suing for an unspecified sum, claiming fraud and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

* * *

The suit says Gallagher-Smith, 37, gave birth last month, but Florida law says a child born into a marriage is deemed to be a result of the marriage. A DNA test can’t be forced and Robinson has no legal claim to the child, said Cathy Lively, Robinson’s attorney.

“That is why we are seeking damages; he’s not going to be able to ask for a DNA test,” Lively said. “It is our claim that he was put into a position, and this was an intentional act to father a child. He was led to believe at that point that the child was his. “He was put into the position of being an unwitting sperm donor.” Robinson said he has been affected professionally. He is currently out of work as a caddie and is pursuing a career as a professional golfer. “The likelihood that I will ever get another caddying job, especially in the LPGA, is very, very unlikely,” he said. Robinson, 26, began caddying for Gallagher-Smith in February 2004, and soon thereafter began receiving advances from her, he said. Robinson said he was in an emotional state after recently ending a long-term relationship with a girlfriend, and he passed off some early advances as “innocent playful activity.” The relationship became sexual about two months later and the two would sometimes engage in unprotected sex, he said. When rumors of the relationship began spreading around the tour, Gallagher-Smith told Robinson that he must deny they had anything but a work relationship, the suit states. Robinson goes on to say that Gallagher-Smith told him she and her husband had been unsuccessful in conceiving a child. In July, she told Robinson she was pregnant and led him to believe he might be the father, the suit says. Under pressure from Robinson, Gallagher-Smith eventually told her husband and said he forgave them, and Robinson continued to caddie for Gallagher-Smith through the end of the tour season in October, Robinson said. “I hope to get retribution for the emotional pain and suffering and eventually get some rights to the child,” Robinson said. “The laws in Florida are very tough with the situation I’m in but this suit is about financial retribution.”

Copyright 2005 Associated Press. All rights reserved.

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