Revenge of the …

Why pretend, George Lucas? You promised 9 Star Wars movies.You promised that there would be three trilogies would be separated by generations. You fucking lied.

We bought that package in the original series, because it was a self contained arc about Luke and destiny.We accepted the limited presence of Vader, because the story wasn’t really about him.

Then, you changed direction and made it all about him.But, not him. Not Vader. No, hours and hours of crap about some little shit named Anakin. Pompous, expositions on trade routes and senate protocol, in case pubescent petulance wasn’t enough to hold our interest. Feh.

We knew in 1977, that Luke’s father was “dead” and that Vader was a good guy gone bad. (Also that Carrie Fisher had a nice rack. We rooted for Luke to tap that ass rather than Solo, but something just wasn’t clicking with those two.)

We knew in 1980 that Vader was now Luke’s dad. Also, he was not a robot, like some of us suspected. (We also knew that Luke was monumentally gay, and that even if not, he wasn’t getting anything from Leia.)

We knew in 1983 that Carrie Fisher still had a great rack, plus, she was now Luke’s sister, which, along with his incendiary gayness, explained why Luke never tapped that ass. Also Vader would be redeemed at the end.

Vader’s story is pretty much self contained in the original three, just like the rest of the characters we met.

Anyway George, you haven’t made me care about pre-Vader Anakin with the last 2 bullshit outings. It doesn’t matter if he is Jeff Spicoli or JFK, Jr. at this point – we get that he is seduced by the dark side, without it being played out in amazing CGI detail.

Just admit that you reneged on the original promise and premise. After I(4) and II (5), I am sorta glad that after III (6), you won’t be further fucking up the once compelling universe you created.

Promises Made and Changed

1999-2005 – There was always only 6 movies. It’s really one big arc about Anakin. Vader is secondary, and there won’t be anything more about him blowing shit up. Even though that is the coolest part. I suck. – George Lucas

1983 – Yup. 9, count ’em 9

Luke Skywalker makes his last, grand stand

Of course, there’ll be more. “Return of the Jedi” is only the third of the “Star Wars” series, episode six in the proposed series of nine films. (The first three will take place 50 years before “Star Wars,” the last three 50 years after “Jedi.”)

1980 – There will be 9.

From a galaxy far away

As we have now been told by “Star Wars” creator and director George Lucas, “The Empire Strikes Back” is the second episode in the second trilogy of what will ultimately be nine “Star Wars” movies. He said he started with the fourth episode in the epic because it was the most comfortable for him and that after finishing the middle trilogy three years from now, he’ll go back and do the first three episodes.

1977 – Three trilogies. The movies will be released every three years.

One thought on “Revenge of the …

Leave a Reply