Messenger Puppet

Or both. Mark it down.Michael’s new Neverland Or if he gets off (sorry), he’ll be playing the Super 8 on route 12 next to the truckstop. Either way, GTFOOH, you creep.

We are doomed. DOOMED, I tell you, if we let the damn homos get married. They want daisy chain group marriages full of evil pornoriffic deviance, and interspecies marriage. Their entire goal is to destroy heterosexual marriage and the missionary position.Tell Congress to tell the ho-mo-sexuals to shove it up their ass like everything else. We need a bible marriage amendment so that only heterosexual couples can have sex in a godly position in a TBN sanctified marriage. Burn everbody else like the witches and heretics they are. RAAAR!!!

D. James Kennedy
(slightly paraphrased)

Dear *Doctor* Kennedy:

Shut the fuck up, you hateful, ignorant, partisan piece of shit. The group marriage weirdos don’t speak for the gay couples I know any more than your evil, militant witchhunting Jebus resembles the Jesus of the actual bible. You know, the one who was above politics. The *reach out to the poor and afflicted with kindness and hope* Jesus, not the *crush the nonconformist and nonbelievers* Jesus, packing an AK-47 to inflict holy justice on the wicked.

Anyway, the gay marriage people just want to make stronger commitments to each other. They’re not recruiting. Unlike the Klan, the skinheadz or, well, YOU. I have yet to hear any cogent reason why that is wrong that doesn’t involve you inflicting a godly burning at the stake. Or some far-fetched conspiracy about how the *fags* have taken over Saturday morning TV.

I know Jesus gets a little pissy around the Revelations-era end times. I don’t recall where he outsourced the job to you, or invited a posse of self proclaimed church *leaders* to join him in that. I do recall that the only other time Jesus got all pissed is when charlatans like you turned the church into a mall. Not to point any fingers, because your sin is not for me to judge. (Sound familiar? Doubt it.)

My advice to you is to do your goddamned job – ministering. Stop shilling for George W, get your ass down from that towering pulpit and spread some joy and hope to the poor and homeless. You know, those bastards who *clutter your drive to the studio with their inelegance,* you fucking ungodly prick.

Signed,

Pernicious evildoers everywhere