Captain’s log, Stardate 2005.0627

Technology is killing the high art of “spaceship.”

*Spaceship* is where you drive at night with all your interior light on and your outside lights off. You look like a UFO screaming down the street.

But on the Scorolla, this only works in neutral with the parking brake on. With the brake off, the daytime running lights come on. When it’s dark, the exterior lights all come on, and there is no way to shut that shit off unless you rewire the car. I didn’t order or pay extra for any of these *comfort/convenience* features. They must have just seen me coming, and said, *holy shit, that fool is a menace.*