1998 Ford Explorer

Door Dings Enrage Me, part II

Karma owns me again…

Revenge of Karma

I scoffed at this crazy bitch and rightly so, because:

  1. I said it, so it must be right; and
  2. it’s about a fucking truck.

Years ago, I proved gravity does seem to be a plausible theory by flinging a golf ball at the sky and divoting the trunk of a ’77 Mercury Monarch that closely resembled the one my dad drove (being that it was parked in my driveway and all).

(No crazy bitch ran ME down for that, btw.)

So, yesterday, el wifey comes home in an ’05 Exploder (due to the attack of the semi). After dinner I get to wedge this monumental wideass with a 10 foot long hood into the garage. Without, you know, hitting walls, shelves, bikes, stacks of wife/kid crap in my garage. Or my car. Before I can even get out, my ever helpful monkey helps me by kicking the back door open to get herself out. Into my little speedmobile.

$#%@#$%*)#$%*@#)^*%^&)$^(&$^#^&(%&$!%*^%)

breathe

^*%^*#&^)&^!&%!^&$!^$#%!&@%!%(#$!%&*$#&($#

breathe

!&%(@!%&($!%&!#$%&($%&%$^*#)^#%&_&^(*_(&^~!!!!!!!

Wifey laughs it off. It’s my fault for only leaving a couple of feet between cars. (As opposed to not leaving her room to get out her door.)

Find beer. Repeat…

Wifey thinks she wants one of these bastards when the Jeep lease is up. Karma says I don’t fucking think so….


 

3 Comments

  • Guillermo July 8, 2005 at 3:46 pm

    Redeemed by better karma
    My client Dave used to do paintless dent repair. Not the bullshit on late night tv where a suction cup and some twisting solves all your problems – this is the business that involves falt end pokers and slim jims and shims and mecahnical shit like that. Anyway, I called in a favor. Monkey dent – gone. Mystery dent on the other side from some utterly soulless fuckhead in a parking ramps somewhere – gone. Just a nick in the paint, which i will fix tomorrow.
    No charge.
    Thanks, Dave

    Reply
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