Off to War Again

The war against a concept took an expansive turn today, when “Curious” George Bush announced the war on semantics…

President Makes It Clear: Phrase Is ‘War on Terror’ President Bush publi ly overruled some of his top advisers on Wednesday in a debate about what to call the conflict with Islamic extremists, saying, “Make no mistake about it, we are at war.” In a speech here, Mr. Bush used the phrase “war on terror” no less than five times. Not once did he refer to the “global struggle against violent extremism,” the wording consciously adopted by Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld and other officials in recent weeks after internal deliberations about the best way to communicate how the United States views the challenge it is facing.

President Biff went on to say: “From now on, it’s all a war. Right now, I am waging a war agaisnt sagebrush. Later, I will wage a war against Viagra, while Laura wages war against boredom. Tomorrow, I will launch an all out ground offensive against that there hill in my ongoining mountainbiking war against being lardasses like my senior staff.”

Former administration toady General Colin “Colon” Powell reportedly sent a telegram to the joint chiefs laughing his ass off: “ROFLMAO. “War” is the new  “struggle,” which was the new “war.” Good luck nuking the dictionary. How doubleplusungood for you.”

Categories: Uncategorized

Leave a Reply