Messenger Puppet

Learn it. Know it. Live it.

All crap, all the time, featuring:

• Trofeo (my new hero Molly)
• Gremlin (Dribble)
• Berlinetta (Mrs. Camaro (go figure))
• Yugo (Kenneth S. Berman, Republican)
• LeCar* (le français faux for “the car”) (Bagman), and…
  

  Spontaneous roof drifting is the new hotness

• Pinto’s evil cousin – the “Mustang” II (Pod, Yoko). No it doesn’t prance. but it does fly, with the right inducements.

I will have you know that none of my cars made the POS hall of fame turdology. How they escaped notice, I cannot tell you. Must be the same way that Starfires, Opels (any), and Isuzus (any) slipped by. Judge the following automotive pukefests for yourself…

What's the 411? Literally shit, on wheels

Not even VW knew how to make this crapfest work.  Neither did the poor sap who bought it for $175.

Not easily mistaken for Porsches

The one on the right is the bigger POS. The one on the left (Festiva) was killed before its alleged POS-ness (per Molly) came to light.

Any similarity to a police interceptor sedan starts and ends at the headlights

Compared to a Ford Maverick – a 1980 Mercury Zephyr is the shit. Otherwise, it’s just a piece of it…

If it makes you feel any better, I have ridden in, slept in, known an idiot frat brother who drove, crashed into or been crashed by nos. 50, 49, 46, 28, 26, 23, 22, 21, 19, 18 (its evil, shittier cousin), 16, 15, 14, 12, 11, 8, 7, 6, 2, and of course 1.

Buford: La Vulture‘? WTF, Ethel? Who drives a dang buzzard?
Ethel: Shucks, I don’t know