Oops, I Crapped My… Driveway?

Crap Cars Richard Porter

Learn it. Know it. Live it.

All crap, all the time, featuring:

I will have you know that none of my cars made the POS hall of fame turdology. How they escaped notice, I cannot tell you. Must be the same way that Starfires, Opels (any), and Isuzus (any) slipped by. Judge the following automotive pukefests for yourself…

1971 VW 411

Crappiest Car ever

Not even VW knew how to make this crapfest work.  Neither did the poor sap who bought it for $175.

1988 Ford Festiva 1990 Suzuki Swift

The one on the right is the bigger POS. The one on the left (Festiva) was killed before its alleged POS-ness (per Molly) came to light

1980 Mercury Zephyr

88 hp doesn’t get you far fast.

Compared to a Ford Maverick – a 1980 Mercury Zephyr is the shit. Otherwise, it’s just a piece of it…

If it makes you feel any better, I have ridden in, slept in, known an idiot frat brother who drove, crashed into or been crashed by nos. 50, 49, 46, 28, 26, 23, 22, 21, 19, 18 (its evil, shittier cousin), 16, 15, 14, 12, 11, 8, 7, 6, 2, and of course 1.


*Really, the “LeCar” should be named “la voiture,” but who in a WalMart parking lot could hope to pronounce it?

Buford: La Vulture‘? WTF, Ethel? Who drives a dang buzzard?
Ethel: Shucks, I don’t know

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