Fat, Drunk and Stupid for $500

Alex:: It is the stupidest thing to say when the power goes out in a classy bar at the Biltmore.

A stupid unknown drunk guy: What is “9/11! 9/11! They’re invading!”

Alex: Correct, you imbecile. We would have also accepted the equally repellent “Who is ‘Osama bin Laden'” or “Did you know Dungy’s kid killed himself because the Colts lost that game?”

This really happened while conducting field research with the Minister of Cool. The power went out, and this retard’s unfunny drunkass dead kid/9-11/Osama bullshit ensued.

MoC and I were behind a partition, but the dude could hear her call BS on his rant in the dark.  Which was then followed by a lot of drunken swatting at the air and yelling “fuck you” at the voice, and at the invisible people chiming in on the subject. The bartender told him to take his “fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck” shtick to 7th Street. ”

[Take it to 7th Street” is how classy Phoenix bartenders say “go fuck yourself.”]

Then, another round of “it’s a fucking joke” “it’s fucking free speech,” “I’ll fucking kick your invisible ass” And shit.

Then, an embarassed escort out the door simply because MoC’s  “STFU” went unheeded

Shecky should just be thankful that no one said “What would your grandmother think?” to shut him up because, DAMN, 15 years after the last one died, that question still fucks with MY head.

Then, free drinks (Yay!) because the power to the Chargeomatic 3000 was still out.