Sock to WFB: better that than let you touch me…
Here is the scenario:
Friday – title company waits too long on a wire transfer.
We’ll do it on Monday
Then give me a check, bitches!!!
WFB: Ha! We’re closed!
Here is my title company check. When will the funds be available since it is a title company check drawn on a local bank and I am an account holder and usually you don’t even have to talk to me.
WFB : Maybe Thursday…
What do I have to do to get my bank to give me access to my money?
WFB: Get naked on your neighbor’s bed and Well sir, our computer looks at the amount (modest), the payer (reputable), the bank (solvent, not under investigation), your account type (totally free check – oh fuck. I am screwed)
WFB: Yes, you really are. but it is the computer doing it, so it’s not like we’re being pricks or anything.
Me: Yes, it’s exactly like that. *throws flaming bags of dogshit at idiot tellers*
Monday – Johnson Bank.
Hello sir, we would love to cash your check. May we shine your shoes, and give you the same service your neighbor tried to arrange, except without cooties, while you wait?
Thank you, and I will take a cashiers check for most of it
WFB: Your so-called “cashier’s check” may clear tomorrow, if I remember to call the bank to verify that their check on their account spending what is now their money is something they really meant to do, since you are an asshole who won’t pay us a monthly fee for denying you access to your own money.