Hey kids, its the Cars? Well, the “New Cars,” which have even less to do with “the Cars” than Kiss 2006 (Gene, Paul and two sterno bums in makeup) has to do with KISS. I heard the new single this afternoon, and it sounds just like the Cars would if they were all 50 something balding geezers who would rather play golf. The drum bits, the guitar riffs, the chorus back up vocals all scream “hey, this is just like the Cars you remember.” And therein lies the problem. Same shtick, different millennium.

The most glaring, jarring change? The lyrics. First, there is a clumsy effort to be hip and all 21st century by referencing Blackberries and e-mail. Then, there are the lyrics themselves. They were comprehensible. WTF? Not tonight is a song about “yeah, baby, I’ll call you soon.” I got that on the first listen. Where is the “I don’t have a fucking clue what this is about” material? Like this? Or this?

Instead, read it and weep/sleep:

I could make some calls
Move things around
And cancel stuff
But your a long long road
I must go down
One night is not enough

I could squeeze you in
But my dance card is full
Still I might change plans
if you give a little (Ahh) a little … give a little more

So put me in your Blackberry
and I’ll take your E-mail
And we’ll meet when the time is right
But not tonight