Trader Joes: We warned you.
- This beer will kick your ass. It is approximately 99.5% alcohol. The other 0.5% is anti-alcohol flavoring, which is highly effective at concealing the taste. Then, suddenly, it’s tomorrow, and your head is inside an invisible cinderblock. Judges love that. “Counsel, will you pull your head off the table and stop moaning like a little bitch?”
- Today actually wasn’t that bad. Mostly because I did not have court, but also because I only had one of these evil beers, and that was on Saturday. The Trader Joe guy warned be that it was strong, and for once i believed him. The “OMG, morning sucks” problem was that I switched to regular beer. We’re OK so far. Then, the Bear decided to show that years of study and practice were well spent – she started bringing me more beer. Without me having to ask. So, Sunday morning was a little harried. Maybe it was the beer. Maybe it was because of the jalapeno/mozz cheese/Ruffles potato chip nachos I had to make. And eat. At 1 am. Or the nuclear hot sauce infused hot wings that preceded it.
- Anyway, I rewarded the milestone of beer service with an xBox 360 and an afternoon at the pool. Just imagine what would happen if I could get the kids to wash and wax my car. Or do laundry.
You are doing well on the training of the young ones. The next step is to teach them to flick bottle caps. My training ground is the back yard deck, but I would think it could be fun to have them try out of an apartment window as well.
Once that technique is perfected, I’m considering teaching them how to remove bottle labels intact for transfer to handy flat surfaces. Automotive glass comes to mind…..
They need to experience Jack Daniels – the retribution before they are qualified to set their own beer schedule for me. Or soco
Too bad dog 4.0 went to live on farm or we could have blended bottle caps and lexi-beers into the same learning experience.
Labels? Glass? WTF are you thinking? What dumbfucks would ever do anything like that?