A little Polynesian “massage” to go with your Karma, Dr. G?

In our last episode, karma had just said “I’m gonna get you, sucka.” Today, karma says “I still totally ironied you, bitch”

In slightly less cryptic and oblique terms, today, another woman got all up close and personal. Lotion was involved. Pants were not.


Karma: Hah! She was a doctor*! No happy finish, just like the last one, bitch. That’s all you get!

Me: She did have warm arms, at least…

Karma: Fuck you. She was supposed to “slip” and throw you an elbow. I’m going to go own her ass, too for missing the shot.

(*technically, a tech, but way closer to a doctor than to an Asian massage therapist)

* * *

Tech: Don’t be nervous. I’ve done this before

Me: Then stop laughing and pointing.

* * *

Me: Anything skeery?

Tech: Uh, YEAH!!! Oh wait, you mean as in results, not as in “seeing your bony naked self on my table.” Uh… I can’t tell you.

Me: Fuck!

[Karma: Hah! Self-Irony, bitch!]

Me: Who can?

Tech: The doctor. It will probably take a couple of days. Unless you have the plague or leprosy or something, in which case we will call you today while you are being carted off to Gitmo for quarantine.

Me: So do you think it will take a couple days to hear?

Tech: Yeah. At least.

So, I can stand down from DefCon 1. No “C” words looming, evidently.

Karma: Hah! “Cooch” is a ‘C’ word too, bitch! Pwned!

fucking karmasick bastard karm You’re a bitch, Otis karma

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