Dear Classmates.com

Dear assholes:

Are you really this fucking dense and stupid?

Spread the word.  Who are you dying [my emphasis] to see at the reunion? Tell them about the reunion group so they can join in!

At this point, I would have to be dead to see my good friend Sandra, who was probably the most gifted writer of my generation and who has been dead for 10 years or more, or my casual friend Dave, who died 2 years ago or my sometimes friend/sometimes enemy/constant foil Andy, who died last year. I would like to tell them about the reunion, but it’s so hard to schedule a séance. Dumbfucks.

Taken another way, Who am I dying to see? Hopefully no one. If you asked me before yesterday’s preliminary results, my answer would have been, “possibly everyone, you thoughtless lobotomized fuckstains.”

Go fuck yourselves, Classmates.com. Seriously. Right now.

2 thoughts on “Dear Classmates.com

  1. I kinda doubt they saw it. Still, that’ll teach them to fuck with me after I just got dumped by some red-headed hottie.

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