On July 11, 2002, I DID NOT hit a pedestrian 3 blocks from my office. She got mad after I DID NOT nudge her inadvertently while trying to turn right on red. Even though she weighed 300 lbs., I did not see her in order to avoid the 0.1 mph impact which did not happen. Then she punched me in the driver side window to express her anger at NOT being hit. A happy day THAT was.

Anyway, every year since then, either pulling out of my office, or turning right from the street a block away, I nearly nail some stupid pedestrian who appears out of nowhere. Superstar even advised me to stop running into people.

Today, a different twist on the usual road warrior story:

I am trying to turn right on GREEN There is a pedestrian crossing with traffic. He waits for me to go, even though he is almost all the way across.

After you.
No, I insist. After you.
I couldn’t possibly. You go.

So I did. No collisions, no assaults, just please don’t let me inconvenience you. Gotta be the car. Obviously this pedestrian never spent any time in Boulder or Ann Arbor.

(When I tell you I’m easily amused, I’m not kidding.)