1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
3. When’s the last time you’ve been sledding?
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
yes to either for sleep that is actual sleep. If you mean fucking, well of course, I would rather fuck than sleep alone. Who the hell asks these stupid questions?
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
I believe in dreams, and I have dreamed about ghosts
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
The question perplexed the dapper tan stud who – oh fuck that. Sometimes. Sometimes I am just derivative. Other times, I am just a copycat whore.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
No. I think he killed his ex-wife, and the bitch had it coming, too, and – OK, scratch that last part. Nobody deserves to be filleted, outside of certain fascists in high ranking party positions.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
YES!!! At the same time. See no. 4.
9. Do you stay friends with your ex’s?
By necessity since, you know, kids and shit. I would like to still be friends with the GFs immediately before and immediately after the ex-wife
10. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes, but fuck! Poker is a (small but annoying) part of the reason there is an ex-wife.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
I have never been awake for any amount of time gay, if that’s what you are really asking. Otherwise, my answer is about 36 hours tops.
12. What’s your favorite commercial?
The one with the naked or nearly naked babes.
13. What are you allergic to?
14. If you’re driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?
I drive appropriate for the conditions at hand (like trying to avoid drunks stumbling to 7-11 for contact shit)
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes. Once, when I was 17, I – wait. Never mind
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Tiger baseball. Except baseball sucks unless my girls are playing
17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
21. What’s the one thing on your mind now?
This dumb fuck questionnaire.
22. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I may have lived it in the last 6 months. The fact of my string of ex’s may disqualify me from commenting definitively.
23. Do you know who Ghetto-ass barbie is?
My ex-neighbor the pimp tried to introduce me.
24. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yes, except when I forget.
25. what cell service do you use?
26. Do you like Sushi?
Is this one of those double entendres?
27. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
I have avoided all fatal accidents so far.
28. What are you wearing to bed?
basketball shorts. If karma wasn’t kicking my ass, I would be able to say a hot redhead, or a blond, or a brunette, or…
29. Been caught stealing?
Jane’s Addiction sucks
30. what shoe size do you have?
31. Do you truly hate anyone?
not outside of politics or my profession
32. Classic Rock or Rap?
A more so than b
33. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?
36. What food do you find disgusting?
Eggs. Pumpkin. Fast food burgers. Soylent green.
37. Do you ever sing in the shower?
38. Did you ever play, “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”?
I will to this day with the right hottie
39. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
not as far as they know
40. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
41. Have you ever been punched in the face?
not in >30 years