Office Crap

The stuff I put up with…

Attempted Humor 1.

Barb arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!

It turns out that Jack had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex.

The night went well and the next day, she told her office friends all about it. “We had a great dinner. Jack even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening.”

“But what about afterward?” asked her friends.

“Oh, that was perfect, too. Jack was too tired…” 

Response:

“Oh, that was perfect, too. Jack was too tired…

Perfect? WTF? Women are evil.

Attempted Humor 2 

 

Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in this country lately. Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery & wild animals attacking humans in Florida.

 

Not me. I concentrate on solutions to problems. The result is a win-win-win situation:

  • Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border
  • Use the dirt to raise the levies in New Orleans  
  •  Put the Florida alligators in the moat 

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today? 

Response:

Gee, there are only about a million problems with that: the immutable laws of physics (which even the current administration cannot rewrite or ignore), the Constitution, tort law (for the same reason that a person cannot booby-trap his windows against potential burglars), total devastation of the farming, food and residential service industries (unless Americans whose jobs have been outsourced to China want to start picking produce), to name a few.

Oh, plus the fact that the whole thing can be defeated with a rowboat.

    Mex
    But, even with all its faults, this sounds much more thought out and well planned than our efforts in Iraq or the Gulf Coast. Start digging.

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