Like my review of Kong, only more stupid…
The Hogue Cellars present Cabernet Merlot

When i first opened this on Thursday or Monday or whatever it was, I thought, “this smells like goat urine.”  This led me to think, “hmmm.  Typing ‘goat urine.’  Chalk up another million hits from the Google pervs.  Now if only there was a way to come up on ‘craigslist’ searches.  We know the pervs are out there.”

Then, I thought, “I should be more charitable, because my non-porno secretary with the ass fixation gave this to me.  Plus, it is a sin to waste free liquor.  And shit.”  So, I saved it until today, to celebrate winning a cyber Mustang Mach 1 on some PS2 game or the end of the Sopranos or something.  Tonight, I had a taste with broiled filet mignon, wrapped in bacon, seasoned with 17 different bottles of flaky spice stuff from my cupboard, plus a spinach salad with extra sharp Cheddar, green olives, red onion and a dressing that Superstar taught me how to make.  A tasty meal, and what better to top it off than goat piss, right?

Anyway, to continue a time honored tradition, I present my review of Hogue winery’s 2003 cabernet merlot:

It didn’t kill me.

In all seriousness, sitting for a few days improved the flavor vastly – it went from tasting like Night Train Express (which is basically formaldehyde and red flavored Kool Aid, with lighter fluid for texture) to a pretty passable complement to a fat steak.