Dear Lord Baby Jesus…

Posted on by Guillermo Zeta Acosta

Talledaga Nights:

Help me, Jesus! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft to get the fire off me!

If you ain’t first, you’re last

Your cougar is a pussy, monsieur.

Those red staters are pretty open minded after all – Gay, Perrier-swilling drivers have a place in NASCAR. Who could have predicted that?

Funny as hell, as long as the invisible fire doesn’t get you.

Somebody has to keep an eye on the booze cupboard. That's me, because the others are locked inside. Also, we're out of booze.