Dear Lord Baby Jesus…

Talledaga Nights:

Help me, Jesus! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft to get the fire off me!

If you ain’t first, you’re last

Your cougar is a pussy, monsieur.

Those red staters are pretty open minded after all – Gay, Perrier-swilling drivers have a place in NASCAR. Who could have predicted that?

Funny as hell, as long as the invisible fire doesn’t get you.