Proof that Chicago did not happen

Jake? Elwood?

See? Never believe what you read.

No one I know was ever near Wrigley. In other news, never trust a fucking camera phone. One day’s CYA photo is the next day’s “beyond a reasonable doubt.” You have been warned.

But not by me. I wasn’t there. If I was, I didn’t say anything to you about it. If I did, it wasn’t that. If it was, you knew I was talking about space aliens and not any property crimes or disorderly conduct of any sort whatsoever on or about August 2, 2006 in the vicinity of Clark and – uh, nevermind.

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