Nanner, nanner, nanner. It’s still 2006 here. I am not sure if that is a good thing or not. I do not think 2007 can possibly be weirder. Differently weird. like when I get fired. Or laid. Or some other sort of equally implausible where did that come from event. But not more weird. So […]Read more "It’s still 2006 here."
What a tough time to split up, with the holidays and all. Know that I am here for you. As long as you resemble this (the one in the middle). (I assume that having a husband that’s a well-known plastic surgeon in Chicago means you had nip/tuck privileges as needed) Yes, it’s strictly a physical thing. Yes, it will be your treat, since you have a $50 million empire and I have a $1.99 trial subscription to World of Warcraft and a Mustang. Still, it will be worth it. I promise I won’t stalk you after I am through with you, although I may pop out of the shower as if the whole previous season didn’t even happen.
John Edwards to America: I’m “special.” Also This campaign is about two years early each of us taking responsibility for our country’s future — and ensuring America’s greatness in the 21st century. It is a campaign not just about what we can do in the White House — but what we can do on the […]Read more "Less Filling"
Nothing buffers “today’s new country” (which the kids claim not to like) like the best fucking music ever.
Read more "Why Santa kicks ass"
Karma: how would you know anything about “the best fucking music” in any context.
Me: I know the answer to “what is the best fucking music ever” is unlikely to ever fall under “today’s new country.” Now STFU. It’s Christmas.
of a deadline (e.g., 12/24), makes you buy shit like this:Read more "Shopping while under the influence"