What a tough time to split up, with the holidays and all.  Know that I am here for you.  As long as you resemble this (the one in the middle).  (I assume that having a husband that’s a well-known plastic surgeon in Chicago means you had nip/tuck privileges as needed) Yes, it’s strictly a physical thing.  Yes, it will be your treat, since you have a $50 million empire and I have a $1.99 trial subscription to World of Warcraft and a Mustang.  Still, it will be worth it.  I promise I won’t stalk you after I am through with you, although I may pop out of the shower as if the whole previous season didn’t even happen.

Victoria Principal leaves loser husband for Dr. G.