Let’s Imp*** the President

So says Vlad Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, a 42-year-old New Jersey man who is running under the Vampire, Witches and Pagan Party.

Secret Service investigates satanic vampire 2008 presidential candidate questioned about Bush threats

The 2008 presidential bid just got a little more challenging for the race’s only satanic vampire candidate.

Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, a 42-year-old New Jersey man who is running under the Vampire, Witches and Pagan Party, is currently being investigated by the Secret Service for potential threats toward President George W. Bush.

According to Sharkey, Secret Service agents visited him and his 19-year-old wife, Spree, in Ohio on Feb. 15. The visit concerned Sharkey’s repeated remarks about impaling Bush, an act Sharkey said he would only do if he were elected president.

“They never even asked to see my impaling stick,” Sharkey said.

Dear Vlad

When you’re president, incarcerate him. You will have to track him to his fortified compound in Paraguay, and get past the whole extradition thing. Maybe spirit Cheney out of Dubai first, for practice.

xxoo
sane people everywhere (aka the living)

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