F*** you, CVS

If I weren’t so sore, I would…

3.30.07 10 am

Me (as Arthur Denton):  Give me some fucking morphine
Orin Scrivello, DDS: Okey-dokey

3.30.07  4 pm

DDS:  Give this man some fucking morphine.
CVS Pharmacy® – Expect Something Extra ®:  Okey-dokey

3.30.07  5:30 pm

Me (nearly dead from pain):  Where’s my fucking morphine?
CVS:  We have no record of a scrip being called in.

meds.exe
10  request meds
20  if meds=0 then 40
30  else 60
40
clutch temples
45
scream “fuck”
50  go to 10
60  mmmm,vicodin
70  go to 60

3.31.07

some chick:  Look what I have
Me:  Mmmm.  Also, thanks for the percocet.

4.4.07 11 am

DDS:   How’d those meds work out?
ME:  “We have no record of a scrip being called in.”
DDS:  WTF?
Me:  Duh!
DDS:  They were idiots when I called it in.
DDS:  They suck
Me:  Duh!

4.4.07  2 pm

Me:  Here is another chance to give me some fucking morphine.
CVS:  Give us your ID.  Pwned by Patriot Act.
Me:  Evs, fucktards.  Here it is, now GIVE ME MY FUCKING MORPHINE!!!
CVS:  That will be about 45 minutes sir

4.4.07  7 pm

Me:  Here is another your last chance to give me some fucking morphine.
CVS:  We don’t have a record of that scrip
Me:  run meds.exe
CVS:  Oh, here it is.  We just need to fill it. That will be just a few minutes, sir.

Later…

Me:    mmm vicodin
Karma:  ha!  No effect, bitch!
Me:  *screams*

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