1. Indy 500 can’t run in the rain.
2. Peyton Manning
3. Notre Dame
4. Worst traffic laws ever

States have come up with some neat little quips to get people to slow down for work zones on freeways. “Slow for the cone zone” comes to mind. The Hoosier State has shunned the soft sell and gone straight for the I-double-dog-dare-you-to-speed-here school of prevention by serving up a $1,000 ticket. Starting July 1, the Indiana DOT can lower speed limits without previous any study in highway work zones. Then, they can send five-0 to the scene to make sure Joe Q. Driver isn’t trying anything funny, even if there aren’t any workers present. The first time Joe’s foot slips after he passes the 45 mph sign, it’s $300. The second infraction is $500. And if that doesn’t cure his wayward ways, then his gracious donation of $1,000 will gladly be accepted by the good state of Indiana. Oh yeah, and if he fights it and loses it’s another $70. Our favorite provision is the “aggressive driving” misdemeanor. If you drive 46 mph in a highway work zone and perform any aggressive action on a driver in front of you, such as flashing your headlights, and you get caught, you get a $5,000 fine that probably comes with its own Howitzer sound effects. If you do it again, the officer will apply a Rowdy Roddy Piper sleeper hold, then pin you to the mat with a $10,000 ticket, three years in jail, and a felony on your record. Don’t mess with Texas Indiana. I can’t wait to get home and enjoy my Synchronicity Hemp Oil to calm down from all those hassles.