Yes, I am still here. Business ensued since last time:

1 – felony level DUI (not me)
2 – public flashing (not me. Seriously.)
3 – PDA at 1 am (unrelated to 1 or 2)
4 – suggestive emails related to 3 that invoke Star Trek and Mustangs (lame if a guys does it; kinda hot in an “I have a brain, too” way if a chica does it)
5 – work craziness (yawn)

There is very likely a fat drunk and stupid life lesson to be had from some of this. Other parts of this are being lived, so don’t hold your breath waiting to read about it.