Your ticket to Tent City awaits – The DUI patrol is out on a weeknight. This is their processing van. Phoenix is at least a bit more subtle than Mesa. No giant trailer and floodlights in a mall parking lot.
Don’t get me wrong, mmkay. DUI is fucking stupid. DUI laws are likewise stupid. We have laws for reckless driving, and careless driving. One too many may be careless. Two or more is likely reckless. You crash, there are laws to cover that if you’re negligent. You hurt somebody, there are laws for that, too. My whole bitch is that there is a particular species of offense for this. Given the “tough on crime” rhetoric of the political clowns controlling the sheriff and county attorney offices, you can expect that they will go after you for both the ordinary traffic offense plus the assreap your insurance political offense. Plus anything else they can think of. You are Satan because of one lapse regardless of whether anyone else suffered from your mistake. I for one am able to distinguish between things that are illegal because they are stupid and potentially harmful, and things that are illegal because they hurt people. They do not warrant the same treatment.
So, don’t DUI. It’s dumb, they’re already looking for you, and you’ll never fart normally again once Sheriff Joe gets through with you.