1976 Mercury Marquis

Good Night, Sweet Prince

Mercury hood ornament

Blingy. Adamantium, obvs…

Now cracks a noble oil pan heart. Good-night sweet prince, And flights of angels sing thee to the junk yard thy rest.
– Horatio Caine on Mel Gibson (Hamlet, act V, scene ii)

It was 20 years ago today (give or take) that the 1976 Mercury Marquis bit it. Phi Sigma Kappa from CMU came to town to get smashed and witness frat antics. They do the latter. then, we head to Bilbo’s, home of Duff beer and unsturdy urinal partitions to address the former. In the parking lot, Dave Crabs and I decide to race down the rows.

I hit a snow pile. BLAM!

Me: Huh, That sounded harsh for snow.
Karma: Just you wait, butthead.
Me: Wait, Don’t I earn points for not driving home after the bar?
Karma: Not when it was mechanically impossible for you to drive the car anyway.

Snow hides curbs. Engines need oil. AAA loves to tow pieces of shit to the junk yard.

For some reason, the CMU dudes hated us – they thought ceremonial paddles were barbaric. Dipshits.

Phi Sigma Kappa

Gingerman in his favorite pose. It only hurts if you squeal

7 Comments

  • Bikers and Bushwood March 12, 2010 at 10:40 pm

    […] was not from 8, who you scared the piss out of. It was your oil dude – your pan is cracked. Hmmm, just like your […]

    Reply
  • 80s Madness October 19, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    […] is from YOUR POS car, you pinhead. That big bump and crashing sound last night was the oil pan of your Marquis imploding when you nailed that snow pile – there was a curb under there, nimrod. Luckily, […]

    Reply
  • “It’s like a limo” – Me to 8 Barrel December 2, 2010 at 11:00 am

    […] how good it can look when it hasn’t hit a Buick or gone curb surfing.[…]

    Reply
  • 1979 Mercury Marquis December 28, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    […] Pod. Mine was cooler Tags: 1979, Kalamazoo, Marquis, […]

    Reply
  • Maybe we should chug on over to namby-pamby land… March 5, 2011 at 12:24 am

    […] over beers, the universal language of brotherhood and racing. 1976 Mercury Marquis: This is where I die, horribly, right Crabs:  Yes, but first you lose the […]

    Reply
  • Who’ll stop the rain? December 27, 2013 at 11:51 am

    […] Like our friends at the PI firms say – “in a wreck?  Get a check.”  [Ed.: no idea if this applies retroactively.] […]

    Reply
  • 1979 Mercury Marquis | KISS MY ASPHALT July 11, 2014 at 9:24 am

    […] Pod. Mine was […]

    Reply

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