1976 Mercury Marquis

Good Night, Sweet Prince

Mercury hood ornament

Blingy. Adamantium, obvs…

Now cracks a noble oil pan heart. Good-night sweet prince, And flights of angels sing thee to the junk yard thy rest.
– Horatio Caine on Mel Gibson (Hamlet, act V, scene ii)

It was 20 years ago today (give or take) that the 1976 Mercury Marquis bit it. Phi Sigma Kappa from CMU came to town to get smashed and witness frat antics. They do the latter. then, we head to Bilbo’s, home of Duff beer and unsturdy urinal partitions to address the former. In the parking lot, Dave Crabs and I decide to race down the rows.

I hit a snow pile. BLAM!

Me: Huh, That sounded harsh for snow.
Karma: Just you wait, butthead.
Me: Wait, Don’t I earn points for not driving home after the bar?
Karma: Not when it was mechanically impossible for you to drive the car anyway.

Snow hides curbs. Engines need oil. AAA loves to tow pieces of shit to the junk yard.

For some reason, the CMU dudes hated us – they thought ceremonial paddles were barbaric. Dipshits.

Phi Sigma Kappa

Gingerman in his favorite pose. It only hurts if you squeal


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