1978 Cadillac Coupe de Ville

Cadillac Coupe de Ville
I want my Caddy back! Stupid little bitches

Where I saw one: 5 and Diner, down the street from Walnuts McCain’s HQ of political irrelevance.  Coincidence?  I think not.  Bloated plastic shitpiles are often quasi-magnetically drawn to one another.

Nostalgia factor: -3/10

Cadillac Coupe de Ville
ooo, chrome-y goodness aplenty!! Gold chains are in the glove box

Baseline: 0, since I never personally owned one. -1 for Monte Carlo-like front fenders, +1 for two, yes two, rubstrips on the bumpers, +1 for model year ’78, since they had better taillights, -1 because the ones on the 77 sucked ass so bad they had to change. -1 because some dude named Arnie or something who lived on Winchell owned one.

Arnie was a megalomaniacal dick. I mowed his lawn. Once. It took three hours for a measly $5. Why did it take 3 hours? Trimming every shrubbery by hand, plus sweeping up the blades that fell out of the bag.

Then he fired me.


I rode by on my bike with 8 a summer or two later, and yelled at his house, as the temple of unfair labor practices. Oops.  He was GM middle management. Apparently there was some sensitivity. He chased me down in that POS in order to threaten to break my arm if I ever did that again. 8 still owes him an asskicking for that. Evidently, his GM career hit a ceiling, because he kept that car for 10 years.

-1 because Arnie thought owning a 1977 Cadillac Coupe de Ville made him cool, even though it had no options – not even a vinyl roof. -1 because in the 70s, a decent vinyl roof and some wire wheel covers and chrome were all that separated Lincolns and Cadillacs from LTDs and Caprices.

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