Chevrolet Camaro Berlinetta
wire wheel covers say I go fast
Where I saw one: In front of Dr. Happy Finish’s office complex, down the street from the Polynesian Massage therapist.
A rear spoiler would help add 10 hp
Nostalgia factor: -3/10
Baseline: 0, since I never personally owned one. -10 for being a Camaro. Woo hoo, Mustangs. Yee hah! -4 for being a Chevy. Fords rule, bitches. +1 for ditching the crappy fiberglass and the awful fender seams for plastic and slightly better seams; -1 for looking like shit compared to the original. +1 for looking less like a Vega, the second shittiest car ever. +1 for an ass that inspired a Benz. +1 for being cushy (for its era); -1 for being soft – whitewalls? Wire wheel covers? Where did I put my man purse? -1 for having no real connection to Ferrari or anything remotely Italian; +1 because that includes being unrelated to FIAT, shittiest Italian cars ever (pardon the redundancy). -1 for being unfixable without professional help. -1 for being a B&E magnet for crackheads.+10 for chauffeuring me on a fateful otherwise DUI or passed out in a gutter night or two. +2 for being an improvement over Pretty Boy‘s yellow, 3 speed manual with a front half vinyl roof ’75 version.
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