Brother, can you spare $18,500 (x 4)?

Wait.

flat screen	reality vision
Tivo replay	stadium replay (intermittent)
reserved covered parking	nightmarish lot snafus
beer and snacks at Fry’s prices	refi your condo for a Coors Light souvenir cup
virtual reality stereo surround sound	actual reality stadium surround sound (with craptacular stadium acoustics)
superbowl ads	“fans, turn your attention to the screen for the wiener race”
mute buttons	Tom Petty halftime
channel changes when the game tanks	listening to Giant fans gloat (go pats)
kids	Roger Goodell

Nevermind. Send the $ to my student loan people instead. K thx.

Messenger Puppet