Messenger Puppet

Mitt: You will make a fine 3rd wife. I will call you Grandma Nutty Fudge.

Walnuts McCain: Shave your hands, Monkey Boy.

Chevrolet Chevette. Of all the cars that should be dead, this is one you will never see at the Barrett Jackson. This shitbox does not spawn an acid flashback, because, frankly, it’s was not that important in my life. My friends were not stupid enough to own one. My ex-inlaws had one for a while, but after I told them there was NFW their pregnant daughter or new grandbaby would get near that thing, they “upgraded” to a Kcar derivative. I did need to document the harmonic convergence of seeing one on the Internet and one in real life on the same day. Now I need to go wash my eyes with bleach.

Don't you wish your confidential Italian secretary was hot like me? (Jalopnik)

For the Shell executive (or that turkey necked Exxon Bastard) who has everything…

polo grounds behind the driver's seat (sybarites.com)

The Phantom Menace

Rolls Royce Valdez Phantom Stretched at Sybarites

…The Mutec Phantom does away with the Phantom’s aligning doors and adds a extra section in the middle but maintains the bloated, garbage scow like pristine lines of the Phantom. The separated passenger compartment fits four people in Rolls Royce’s new individual seats which are fully adjustable. The Mutec Phantom has all the same options as the regular Phantom for the interior and exterior as well as an armored version.

Schembechler might get official day in Michigan

LANSING, Mich. (AP) — A University of Michigan gridiron legend might get his own official day in the state. A state House committee on Thursday approved a bill that would designate the date of the University of Michigan’s first home football game each season Bo Schembechler Day.