Messenger Puppet

just to balance out this big adventure, have a Vanquish

Dear Penthouse forum:

I never thought I would be writing to you but…

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What's black and white and red all over? A POS mistake is what.

Ordered from the factory this way, with a special order cap.

What else is there to say, really?

Guess what died in the middle of Rock Band last night…

(not this ^^)

Xbox 360 Warranty and Service Enhancements

Start with this (notice that it is now empty)…

add a beach, low tide, midnight and a MAG light

Mix well.

missing Phid’s bachelor party.

Q: What is coming to this dive with Madonna for bible reading, Scientology auditing 401K seminar late one night when she drops into town unannounced?

cable, HBO and intrusive housekeeping

HOLIDAY MOTEL – Your home for make up/first time/finally after six months of trying nookie.

P.S. I am sorry I missed the party. Still.

P.P.S. My alternative proved to be much less frustrating than a stripper would have been. So I had that going for me, which was good.

The Downtowner – your source for hookers, abandoned cars and cheap beer binges.

Also crack (presumably)

Quality Courts Home of downtown hookers, ca. 1981

sudden unintended DEceleration was the only problem with this Toyota

Jan 1993-December 2000

Ordinarily, this would land in the hall of boring cars, but it took 90,000 miles of abuse, survived 2 3 crashes, never needed a brake job and got 30 mpg.

Plus, it totally kicked the ass out of a V-8 Grand Cherokee in the mountains.

Despite $1.30 to 1.40 for a gallon of gas and astronomical insurance rates… Some of these cars are used solely for transportation to work or school.  Other common uses are for mobile parties and for activities prohibited by a recent Supreme Court decision.  One individual’s “beast,” as he called it, looked like a combination para-military mobile command post (replete with numerous clubs, a Fuzzbuster, and a notorious spotlight), and a mobile party store.  Such blatantly obscene law-ignoring vehicles were, fortunately, very, very rare…

–Some idiot, a million years ago in an irrelevant puff piece