Verizon: We think you’re stupid

Me:  Not so much as you think..

Doesn’t this look exciting?

Click here to update your plan.

Applies to wireless number: xxx-xxx-xxxx

Great news! We’ve got a better calling plan designed with your family in mind. We periodically review your account to ensure you’re getting the best value and have found that your family would benefit by updating to our new Nationwide Calling Plan.

Our improved plan is a perfect fit for your family. You may get more Shared Anytime Minutes or save on your total monthly bill. This new plan also now includes access to Mobile Web, so you’ll be able to browse the Internet for the latest news and information. Plus, you can access your email accounts right on your phone.

And it doesn’t stop there. Updating your plan is easy, it’s FREE and it won’t affect anyone’s eligibility for a phone upgrade.

Take a look at what our recommended plan for your family includes:

checkUNLIMITED Mobile to Mobile Calling (to other Verizon Wireless customers without using your plan minutes)

checkUNLIMITED Night and Weekend Minutes

checkMobile Web 2.0

checkNo Domestic Roaming or Long Distance Charges (airtime applies; coverage not available everywhere)

Shared Anytime Minutes 1400

Monthly Access for 3 lines $99.98

But wait!  That is exactly the “Basic 1400” plan that anyone and their dog can buy.  However, I have a select 700 plan.   I don’t need double the minutes, since I don’t use all I have.  I do need unlimited text, which is why I upgraded in the first place.  Where is that in this new great offer?  Nowhere: it’s back to pay per text.  (about $30 per month thanks to the kids).

Verizon:  But wait!  You get Mobile Web 2.0.

Me:  Is it free?

Verizon:  Uh, nooo

Me:  Don’t I already have that?

Verizon:  Well, yeah, but…

Me:  Am I really THAT stupid?  More of what I don’t use(Double the free minutes), and less of what I do (bye bye to free messaging), so that by going down, my phone bill will actually go up?

Verizon:  Well. not AT&T stupid, but pretty close.

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