The federal government is sending each and every one of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China. If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs*, if we purchase a computer it will go to India,** we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala, if we purchase a good car it will go to Japan****, if we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan*** and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in the US. Thank you for your help.
*or Venezuela – either way, Dick Cheney gets richer.
**China. India is the tech support.
****Uh, not quite.