John McCain 2108

Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

Jewel-Osco : home of “drug food.” And recurring gay themes. It’s Monday. Unload the truck then head to upper crust for pizza and beer. Skip the pizza. Find yourself married to some chick who tried to fix you up with a guy at the bar the first time you meet her outside of work. Osco […]

When Car and Driver Didn’t Suck: August 1978

Best bike ride to the Minute Market ever. The garish blue cover foretold BIG NEWS. We had seen hints of “Mustang III,” and had prayed to Henry Ford II that there would be no visual reminder of Mustang II in the name or the car. The Duece didn’t disappoint – for a 1979 car. Sadly, […]

Another one bites the dust

Dear Asshole: Thanks for all of your help with First Drivers Club.You helped make First Drivers Club special. Unfortunately, all great things have to end sometime, and on May 1 the First Drivers Club will close. Everyone here at HQ really appreciates everything you’ve done to spread the word, and we hope you’ve enjoyed the […]

The more things change…

Email to ex, yesterday, 9 am: Please tell your BF to stop calling Monkey “shorty.” It bugs her and the Bear. [more words, more diplomatic] frantic text from monkey, yesterday at 5: You told Mom we hate her? WTF? Brilliant, Dad. Thanks so much for screwing up our lives. Patient reply from me: No, I […]

I’ll take irrelevance for $50, Alex

Alex Trebek: It’s been me for 25 years, my name is Alex, coach, and the answer is “It has been me for the past 30 years, and Penn State for the last 20” Football a welcome salvation at Penn St. after offseason of trouble (cont.)